Okay, suppose you are married to a wonderful wife. You come home and she is suddenly nasty and irritable. She doesn't have a history of abuse, but there is something else going on. It is called PMS, or perhaps it is menopause.
During these situations, there is a sudden fall of hormones. One of them is also endorphins. Not only is she suffering from a lack of sexual hormone, she is also going through withdrawal of her endorphins. She is not only irritable, but in trying to spank her, suddenly she is more sensitive to pain. One way to help her is to start out with a slow, methodical type spanking, and then build it up. This will help produce more endorphin's which will help rid of her irritability. Many women speak of needing therapeutic spankings during these times. Instinctively they know that it works.
With menopause, the hormones come and go. Making the withdrawal over and over again. It is similar to PMS, except that there is no cycle, no logic to the hormones. One day the body may produce enough, the next day too much, the next day none. With all this bombarding of chemicals, and lack of them, it is no wonder she has such a hard time.
During PMS and menopause, cuddling is another important part to helping her. Remember that oxytocin? That production is stimulated through touching. A nice gentle caressing of the bottom, a light spanking that builds to a wonderful glow, then the cuddling will produce the endorphin's and the nurturing comfort feelings she needs.